Will you still love me in the morning?

There's something so frightening about the word 'unconditional'.

(Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs.

It is the kind of love that expects nothing back, places no limits, and does not set any ideals or conditions on what it should be.
When you love in this way you do it without expectation of reciprocity and with no preconceived notions of how or if they will express love back to you.

Quite simply, unconditional love is love without conditions. It is love without requiring anything in return, love no matter what. )

Without... condition. I had that, I have that, I'll always have that. It's a gift I was blessed with.
He leaves my heart boiling over with passion, sincerity... & effortless happiness. But just as quickly, he freezes my heart over & drops it from the clouds I painted for him. He drags my love across the sharpest gravel, & just as easily sweeps me off of my limbs and crushes my disdain.... and then it's there...

powdered smiles;
so easily given, so easily blown away.

I could never describe to you what he's given to me, or what he took away. 

I could never paint a picture for you, of what I see when I look at him, 

of what I find when he gives me the tiniest piece of his heart.

Because there aren't enough colors in the world to depict his pain. A pain I've stared into, a pain I've pulled, tugged and pushed at just for the attempt to destroy it. There aren't enough colors to stain a canvas because there will never be enough 

blues in the ocean,

greens in the trees or 

reds in the vein of one's past... 

to show you, what I've found in the center of his eyes. 

Whenever I look past the surface, 

my breath catches in my throat with a hollowed shiver because for just a second, 

my love's roots continue to stem onto another cracked sidewalk, 

 my heart throbs with the shock of... the unconditional.  

There is not enough shade to structure the bones I've traced over countless times, to structure the arms that have held me delicately, effortlessly, firmly... & without hesitation. Do you know what it is, to memorize the notches of a lover's spine? Or to... dig up your heart from where he's buried it... only to give it right back to him?

 Because it never really belonged to me, my soul, my bones, my heart.

I was made, to be given away.

I was born to love, whether I was born to love him,

I don't know, I'll never know.
But I do, just as the sun rises every morning, & just as the moon
peaks out from its hidden spot in the sky,
my love is never absent.
That's unconditional.
Gravel love, frozen heart
I love you.

"It's never gonna be 
normal, you and me... 
what you're signing on for is a storm, at sea
so if you think you're tough, 
give me all your love
& I'll give you every little piece of me"