been so long since my feet felt the ground

Don't ever wish for... depression.

don't think that depression loosens your chains on creativity, 
and don't believe for a second that the pain you drown yourself in will leave you feeling... unique. 

"everyone wants to be fucked up. but when you actually are, you'd give anything to be happy again."

depression is every manifestation of the greater forces of life.

it is the wind that takes you up by the hairs on your skin, 
spiraling your mind out from its hiding place in your body,  & thrashes you 
back and forth, dragging you across the pebble memories. 


it is the fire that burns your hope like acid, 
that tears up your world from the inside-out, 
leaving a trail of ashes in its wake. 


it is the earth, a planet based on the concept of gravity- 
a forced destined to keep you stable, to hold you down by your roots; 
but our knowledge has taught us differently, our knowledge taught us 
that the gravity that pushes us down... we twist it, 
we make it capable of plunging us six feet under. the earth. 




& it's the... water, the rivers, the salty sea water that stays 
permeated in our pores for hours after our return from the beach. 
 it's the freshest, purest water we take sips of to wash down the hidden
solvents to our demons. 




if there is anything i regret in my sixteen years, it's letting myself drown in the most shallow pond.  
a pond so shallow, you can see its depth from the surface. 
because that's what depression forces you to succumb to.
to... absolutely nothing. 

i am nothing. hear me roar.

become something, create something, love something, push something, 

pull something, grow something, make something, 

imagine something, sing something, 

write something, 

BE SOMETHING.

before you are nothing.