I had to find you, to tell you you're mine.

i miss the soft gasps of your breath coinciding with my hummingbird heart, 

& as the wings of it flew progressively higher, you thrummed your freckled fingers against the porcelain of my chest,

allowing me the gem of your easy silence,

something solely obtained by my love for you, and yours for me; 

kissing each corner of your smile as it floats above my eyes

my eyes, dancing terrifyingly, although blissfully, against your skin & bones, 

pressed so close against the steel bars of my ribs- (all of which i've exerted forcefully to protect what lies beneath it,

my heart.

until you, & only you, blew constellations of kisses- 

imploding the confined cage i'd suffocated my heart within

however i knew,

it always belonged to you

for you have permanently gained the possession of me, your b)

every memory (though i call them treasures)

sunken forevermore into my soul, 

of the nights we were one...

we first float delicately over the notches of our spines,

lovers inextricably intertwined 

& as the music of our heartbeats found each other

they formed an exquisite melody- always vividly contrasting from the last harmony.

and i gasped from the pain and i smiled from your sighs,

the warmth of each one painting the canvas of my body- the artist in you giving himself to me.

& at the end, rustles of that fire always lingered;

we laid together, entwined in the heavens of our love. 

you chased my rocky spine with freckled fingertips

& i caught them and kissed each one

i wish we could have stayed that way always, 

your soul & mine,

inextricably intertwined. 

my one and only,

you are my forever. 

though i forever fear the paralyzing wonder 

that may creep up my spine with gashing fingernails-

the everlasting thought of a permanence in your next goodbye,

i will always return to you with whispers of winter

while you requite with the rustling leaves of autumn,

they drift endlessly, peacefully through my veins

& always reach my hummingbird heart. 

sometimes i wonder...

if you've already forgotten the look in my eyes when i told you i loved you infinitely.

it's fascinating, the love that goes into setting a heart on fire. even more fascinating, is the smoke that tumbles out in whispers from the chaos.
i've always found it strange, how in the midst of my feeble attempts to strike a match against your pulse and send it screaming... i've instead caught the backlash of the flames. i ate them carelessly, and at times i still feel the echoes of fire in my lungs. is it my heart finding its way back to where it used to be?

maybe, maybe not.
however i've found the poison to overwhelm that forgotten treasure,
the one that comes crawling in and chokes my lost heart.

wrung out on the high wires of your smile, 
bluebirds caressed the tips of my fingers


sing me to sleep

Exhale. 
It gets better.